Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Forever

We only have so long
That’s what we’re told

You only have one life
That’s what gets taught

This is why we rush
And also our crutch
Only limited time
I’ll miss my prime

Those are lies
YOLO means you die

Truth be told
Your spirit never gets old
Christ died for all
Just answer his call

Granted eternal life
What’s the rush?
Our flesh may rot
But our spirit not

Heaven is forever
The Holy endeavor

What is a little waiting?
When you have eternity

Patience is the key
To the Lord’s door
You will be priming
For His perfect timing

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Alien Heart

To me feelings are strange
They make me feel deranged
I find more comfort without
They make me act out

When I feel
It is foreign
Alien to my heart and brain
I’d rather have a block of ice
No feelings would suffice

Feelings allow there to be a slice
Easy to cut through
Like fresh bread
Vulnerable, soft
This is how you get hurt

I’ve let the yeast work
Hardening the bread
Solid as a rock
Impenetrable, rough

Should I be like Dexter?
Sociopath with no heart
Sometimes I feel like him
But at least it shows I can feel

Could it be primal?
Could I be an animal?
Beasts have no feelings
They are just savage
Feelings show weakness in the animal kingdom

I don’t feel the need
It’s not that I don’t care
I just don’t share
What you feel
Nor do I understand it

The neurological connection is there
It must be very thin
Others are like a river
Where mine is a trickling stream struggling to flow




Men seem to be less emotional
It isn’t really negotiable
Could this be the ‘Y?’
Feelings are foreign to me

Is it cultural?
Evil at every turn
Sin so prevalent and common
This could be why I have no discern
My heart frozen by the forgotten

Death is everyday
Another doesn’t make me sway
One cannot break
Something already shattered
Did frequency vibrations destroyed the window to my heart?

Could it be environmental?
Feelings are a flower
Mine never bloomed
Never stood a chance
Thirsty for attention
Shadowed by necessity

Flowers need water and light
As much as a firm foundation
But the ground was barren
My heart reaps what was sown

Flowers are womanly
You need to be manly
The environment wasn’t suitable
For my feelings to bloom beautifully

The truth is
It isn’t any of those
It lies within myself
I look for an excuse
As an addict looks for a new muse

This wall needs to come down
I’m the only that can bring it to the ground

I fear though
It is scary
What if I get trapped beneath?
Under the wall

I cannot breath 

Friday, October 7, 2016

Fight the Gap

You’ve tasted Christ
You also know the price
You need to give your life

It is a difficult decision
The Truth will clear your vision

Right now you are in the fog
The fog makes you feel raw
You know you believe in Jesus
But are you in Him?

There is a gap you feel
A distance to real
Between you and the Lord

You know this is true
You should feel Him in you
But you don’t

There is a thirst for love
That can only be from above
Sick and tired of feeling like crud

Some call it purgatory
Where we’ve heard the story
But haven’t seen the glory

Others call this lukewarm
Where one foot is in the norm
And the other is in the storm

Who calmed the storm?
This is why they call us reborn
In Him, we are made new
As fresh as the morning dew

How do we cross that river?
Even if it grows bigger
It’s our union with Christ
The Father’s bridging device

Jesus lays down in humility
He is our bridge from humanity
Into the Father’s open arms
Because Christ took all the harm

So if you are feeling empty
Like the Spirit has left
Then run to God steadfastly
Because He loves you relentlessly

Always remember this Truth
Christ is in you
You are in Christ

Cherish this relationship. 

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Words to the Heart

I’ve always struggled with emotions
There are just too many
It can feel like drowning in an ocean

Why hide mine
I put it in the strongest safe
My Mind

Sometimes I think it is dead
Neurons snipped
Blood doesn’t flow
Could it just be in my head?

That is why I write
Hoping my heart will show
Since it is trapped in my mind
I just want to raise the blinds

My poems get straight to the source
Words cut straight through flesh and bone
My heart is served up like the main course

Now do you dissect or devour?

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Payback

I know I’m saved by grace
Don’t let this smile on my face
Fool you from the truth

Behind my trusting emerald eyes
It is a different vision
The eyes just help disguise
The pain that causes tension
Only if you look hard and deep
You will see why I can’t sleep

Don’t let my fake smile fool
I was once a tool

I know that Jesus’ death
Paid for my sin with one final breath

But if you knew what I did
You would have hid

Life keeps taking shots
Payment for my thoughts
I acted on
Once upon

I know my debt is paid
Sometimes I feel as if it wasn’t enough
Since the devil leads a raid

To try to call my bluff

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Perfect

Maybe I’ll do this one in reverse
Bringing the punchline first
Think about our curse
Now look at this verse

Is peace and happiness so abnormal
That we create chaos to feel normal

All could be going well
A dream come true
Then like an alarm
The devil whispers persuade evil
Brings you out of dream state
And you fall into sin

Is this our curse
Our fleshing causing sin
Since the days of Adam and Eve
We haven’t had relief

One way to have it perfect
Because of One perfect man
Through grace, love, and faith
He will take us one day

To spend eternity in a perfect place

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Trust Shattered

You once had my heart
But even more my trust
We gave in that night
Lustfully until morning light

I would’ve given anything
Just to be her everything
I saw you as my future wife
Wanted to be with you my whole life

You started to ignore me
You made me feel lonely
Then I found out the truth
You were with some other dude.

It wasn’t anger that took control
Brutal sadness filled my soul
I blamed myself for trusting
I said never again will it happen

I guess the pain wasn’t enough
I was made out to be a deceiver
Whispers echoed the halls
Dirty looks taunted my integrity


Depression overwhelmed for months
Visible through my decisions
I stopped caring how I treated them
My trust was shattered for women

Revenge seemed to be the solution
A dish that showed my sin
For I had discovered something
Back from my first relationship

See for I had a gift
My tongue of silver
Spat words of persuasion
Women fell left and right

Love for me they gave
I never returned the favor
But used them as I wanted
My way of revenge

Still to this day
My thoughts drift back
They trip me up
Back into the sadness

Except now I turn to the Savior
Jesus pulls me out
From the dark lake of my mind
No longer does my past rule me.