Saturday, October 24, 2015

Calloused

Have you had a callous?
Solid, buildup of dead skin
The blister is the kin
Weathering just hardens
Wear and tear of time

I know all too well
Not only the hands and feet
Somewhere it wasn’t an easy tell
You’d never want it here
My heart is where it dwelled
Not physically, but emotionally

Being told I have no feelings is nothing new
I just choose to ignore the TRUTH
Recently I’ve seen otherwise
A death has opened my eyes

What did I feel?
NOTHING
Knowing there should be sadness
His dad calling should’ve added to the madness

It wasn’t organic
Should I panic?
How does one be sad?
Truly I didn’t understand

Could it be my history?
Gun shots and the streets
Broken home
What was family?

Maybe it’s culture
Commonality on the tv screen
Reports of violence
Movies with no filter
Games with no permanent death
Left some in a trance

Some come to me
Share their feelings
But I don’t share their feelings
This callous has made me numb
Wishing understanding will come

I just want to feel
I just want to be real
How do I?
How can I?

Every night I pray
Lord take this callous away
Let my heart be yours
Soften it please

So I can love others with ease. 

Friday, October 16, 2015

Season of Feeling


You started off as a sight
Something I noticed in the light
We had a similar past
So we grew close fast

Your outer bark tough and thick
Was your barrier from getting sick
My words were like an axe
My compassion made cracks

It just wasn’t the season
Fall was the reason
I was happy with you
Cuddling with no shoes

It was warmer
The leaves still green
And I was the performer
We were innocent teens

Things began to change
The foliage turned yellow
As it started to get strange
My feelings mellowed


Now they are just dead
The brown when they fall
Like a harsh winter kills a tree
You are no longer friends with me

Then spring will come along
Our feelings renewed like the leaves
We’ll be on our separate paths strong

Eventually moving on will be a breeze.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Assumptions

I know you see me
I’m big
I’m strong
I’m athletic
I’m extroverted
I’m intimidating
I’m a baseball player

That’s all you see
The rest you assume about me
It’s in your eyes
The way you look at this guy (me)
You treat me differently

These assumptions are many
I’m dumb
I’m a player
I skip classes and chapel
I’m here for the wrong reasons
I don’t care about YOU
You assume the worst

What you didn’t know
I like reading
I like learning
I like being a nerd
I like singing in the shower
I like Nicholas Sparks’ movies
I like meeting new people
Most importantly, I love Jesus

Stereotyping isn’t just racial
Don’t treat me like something I’m not
Take a chance
I’m not so bad after all

If you could only see what I’ve seen
Hear what I’ve heard
Think what I’ve thought
Experience what I’ve experienced
Then maybe, one day, you could feel what I’ve felt


I’m anything but what you expect. 

Thursday, October 1, 2015

The Change

Sweat turns to sweaters
Humid turns to a chill
breeze turns to wind
sun turns to clouds

rattle of the leaves
green, yellow, red, brown
once alive in the breeze
 now on the ground

outdoor activities cease
cuddling by the fire comes
hot coco instead
time to stay in bed

two seasons back home
but this new place I roam
the weather gives me chills

coldness rolls from the hills